Sunday, June 21, 2009

.: Compliments That Complements :.

I grew up in a typical Chinese culture, where words of praises from my parents flows out ever so generously - when it comes to the achievements of other people's children.

The you-know-who-and-who-son-got-straight-As-for-SPM-coz-he-worked-his-ass-off-for-it,why-can't-you-be-as-hardworking-as-him (*breath* a mouthful isn't it?), and months later brush off my results by saying "Oh, my daughter is just lucky she got straight As". Or why-can't-you-be-like-so-and-so-daughter. Or so-and-so-son-can-do-this-and-that *giving a sneering look*, what-can-you-do?

It hurts.
It makes me strive even harder to try to achieve what I think would make them proud.
Only to have another person's perfect son/daughter set out a higher standard for me.
Most of the time, I don't aim for perfection.
I just aim to make not myself - but them, happy.
But these words hurled at me, makes my effort all seems so small. Seems so insignificant. Seems that "luck" is on my side.

For ever single compliment I get from others, at the back of my mind I would like "how am I suppose to react to this compliment?"
Yes, it reaches a point where I do not know how to receive compliment graciously.

I guess there are two sides to a coin. There are afterall pros and cons in the way kids are raised. Overly complimenting them, even if they are not that good - will result in overly confident adults, with no substance (watch American Idol auditions and you know what I mean when people sincerely and actually believe that they are the next American Idol, but when they sing --- *cover ears*). But by not complimenting them enough, and worse still, putting them down for every lil achievement or effort they put in, will result in adults having lack of self confidence and self esteem.

I guess it's not a simple task to be a parent raising kids. It is, afterall, the art of balancing - not too much, but not too little.

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