Nuffnang

Monday, March 31, 2008

.: Beijing 080808 :.

I'm on my way to China! :) And I'm back again! :)

As the Captain said these words, I held back my tears.

"Bagi penumpang yang datang melawat 'Selamat Datang Ke Malaysia'. Bagi penumpang warganegara Malaysia, 'Selamat Kembali Ke Tanah Air'..."

Indeed, there's no place like home.....

Monday, March 24, 2008

.: Memories From Lil Ol' Blog :.

A few repost from my ol' lil blog...

Bidding farewell to year 2006 and ushering into year 2007 -> click here

Went to Miri with a confused heart, but came back assured -> click here

Tag : If I Could Be A ... -> click here

Saturday, March 22, 2008

.: If I Could Be A ... :.

Original post : 14th October 2006

I was going through someone's blog and discover something interesting.....

Instructions: Pick 10 occupations from the list below and complete the sentence. Then tag another three people to do it. And on and on it goes.

If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a psychologist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an innkeeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be a service member
If I could be a photographer
If I could be a philanthropist
If I could be a rap artist
If I could be a child actor
If I could be a secret agent
If I could be a comedian/comedienne
If I could be a priest
If I could be a radio announcer
If I could be a phlebotomist
If I could be Paris Hilton's stylist
If I could be a movie producer
If I could be the CEO of Microsoft
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world
If I could be married to any current famous political figure
If I could be a dog trainer


Here it goes......

~If I could be a scientist... I would invent a time-machine and go back in time again and again & yet not change anything even when I could coz I'm really happy to be where I'm in right now with that someone special....

~If I could be a painter.. I would paint using the most beautiful colours of being in love with that someone special....

~If I could be a garderner... I would plant the seed and with the sun's love, watch it grow into a rose for that someone special.....

~If I could be a chef.. I would make perfectly round chocolate-chip pancakes for that someone special...

~If I could be a linguist... I would tell how much I Love You in every languages known to mankind to that someone special....

~If I could be an athlete... I would climb the highest mountains and swim the deepest ocean for that someone special...

~If I could be a writer... I would write beautiful poems or stories inspired by someone special....

~If I could be a photographer... I would capture all the beautiful moments spent with that someone special...

~If I could be an astronaut... I would fly that someone special to the moon...

~If I could be married to any current famous political figure, it would be to that someone special, even though he's not famous yet.... and neither is he current.... but he's kinda political *wink*

But you see, I'm not a scientist, I could not invent anything for sure... I'm not a painter, only an amateur highlighter artist... I'm not a garderner, so I can't plant roses... I'm not a chef, and my chocolate-chip pancakes can never be round... I not a linguist, so I can only tell you that I love you in one language - English.... I can't climb a hill, yet alone a mountain... I find it difficult to swim a lap in the pool yet alone the ocean... The poems I write don't rhyme and the stories I write are flawed with spelling and grammatical errors.... The beautiful moments spent with you are only captured in my memories, not in photographs... I'm nowhere fit to be an astronaut, so I can't fly you to the moon......

But dear... If, BIG IF, I could do these special things for you, I would.... (except for the last one... it was meant to tease you... *wink*)

P/S : I'm taggin anyone who's reading this.... So yes, you're it.... *wink*

** edited as at 15/10/06**

SMS from dear JC - "To my piece of jigsaw puzzle, my someone special, my sunshine, my highlighter artist, my not-so-round-pancake chef, my baby sister, my dear and my everything. Love you."

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

.: Come Fly With Me To Miri :.

This is another post that I feel that I want to share it in this new blog. My two week trip to Miri has been one of the turning point in my life. It is during than that I first heard God's audible voice telling me to trust in Him and lean not on my own understanding. The "timing" that He was telling me about, when I look and reflect back on this, it is indeed so PERFECT. At that time, the timing wasn't right, and even though I told myself that I MUST make the decision when I came back to KL, I couldn't decide, but he assured me by telling me that I should trust Him and I will know when the time comes. And it did back in January when I heard felt his peace in making this major decision of leaving PwC.

God has really been so good to me, being patient with me even during the times when I'm a non-believer until the time I was, but still couldn't let go and trust Him with everything. To be honest, I'm still learning until today, but I know that He will be very patient and understanding coz He had assured me of that.

Prologue {19th November 2006}
[ 5.30pm ]

And so today would be the 2nd time in my entire life that I took off in an airplane. The 1st time I recalled was when I was about 8 or 9 years old, and it was a one way flight back to Subang Airport (at that time) from Langkawi.

I arrived at the KLIA airport at about 11 am. The flight was scheduled for 12.20 pm, but it was delayed an hour. The airplane took off about 1.30 pm. Had my lunch (ginger beef with steam rice and vegetables) at 10,000 km above sea level, though knowingly, airplane food do not taste that good. Not complaining though, at least it was hot when it was served. The bunch of us girls weren’t really happy when the air-stewardess called all of us “ma’am”. We are NOT that old ok! (Well at least MUCH younger than her in this case).

Before reaching our destination there were period of time when the ride was a lil bumpy for me, perhaps due to the weather here in Miri. According to the pilot, there’s a thunderstorm and perhaps that causes the turbulent.

We arrived in Miri Airport at about 3.50 pm and after settling all that needed to be settled, we took a cab to Imperial Hotel, which is about 15 minutes drive away from the airport.

We are staying in a 3 bedroom apartment, which has a beautiful view of South China Sea (if my geography knowledge serves me right) and an unknown river mouth [take note to find out the name of the river]. The apartment is surprisingly spacious, with a lil kitchen (it’s highly unlikely that we will have time to cook though), a place to wash and hang clothes (even a washing machine) and a living room (Astro included). The bedrooms is to spacious, two rooms with a king size beds and another with two single beds. I was lucky to have the room with the king size bed as well as my very own bathroom. Happily enough, it also has bathtub. That means I could have myself a warm, nice, relaxing bubble bath. *nice*

[ 11 pm ]

Had a hearty dinner just now that cost RM115 for 3 people. Expensive, but it was good. After dinner, we took a lil walk in a shopping mall attached to our apartment to buy some snack for munching in preparation for our long working days. Came back and discussed our work plan for tomorrow. Feeling extremely tired and cold right now. The TV is on, but no one’s watching it. Received an sms from a dear Pakistan friend, telling me that JC misses me. I miss him too now actually. Can’t believe that I could miss someone this much. I looked through my bedroom window, while hugging Martin Bear close to my heart. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Martin Bear looks happy to be here. And for the time being, so am I……

Reflection of the day:
Psalm 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.


Day One {20th November 2006}
[ 6.30 pm ]

I slept a little later than I should have last night. I cried. Again.

Woke up early, about 6.30 am. The sky was extremely bright, so much different from back home. Lazed around until about 7.15 am. Got myself ready and went downstairs for a complimentary buffet breakfast. It didn’t have many choice, just the regular nasi lemak, fried noodles, congee. I had pancakes (which just reminds me of JC) with maple syrup and milk. Didn’t really have the appetite to eat much though. Perhaps first day of work jitters.

We could not actually get things started as the management accounts not out yet. Try to do as much as we could without it, but this is as far as we can get. It’s dark outside. I want to get back as soon as possible, take a long nice hot shower and jump right into bed with Martin. But looks like it’s not going to happen. The accounts just arrived, hot from the photocopy machine. So back to work I guess….

[ 10.50 pm ]

Finished some of my work. Feeling really tired. Body ache. Just vomited. Maybe overate just now. Hope that it’s not a sign I’m falling sick. After I’m done with this, well switch off my laptop, switch off the lights, say a lil prayer and lastly call JC before I close my eyes. Goodnight Martin.

“You took me right out of the blue, simply by showing me that you love me too. Only by giving me your everything, with a love so true, you took me out of the blue.
You let me out of the darkness, you brought me out in the sun. I think you must be the only one for me, coz you took me right out of the blue…”

Reflection of the day:
Philippians 4:10-13
I rejoice greatly in the Lord that all last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed you have been concerned but you have no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength
.

Day Two {21st November 2006}
[ 7.35 pm ]

I cried in the shower today. Somehow I feel so so so alone. And I called out to God. Please Lord, tell me what am I to do? I’m so lost. So purposeless. As it there’s no meaning to life anymore.

As I look at the reflection in the mirror, I don’t recognize the image looking back at me. Somehow I know I’m no longer the person I used to be. I’m naturally a person with tendency to get depressed at the slightest things. People who think they know me wouldn’t think so. Back when I was in Form 4, people used to think that I’m one of the most carefree person they know. Little do they know that at that time, I was suffering from a mild depression. Yet I do not blame them for not knowing. Afterall, I was really good at hiding my emotions back then. When I walk out of my room in the morning, I’m a different person altogether. And when I come back home, I lock myself in the room and start to cry. The cry of frustration, anger, bitterness... all those negative emotions just flow. So yes, I played my Dr Jeckyl & Mr Hyde role well. If only I can still do it now.

[ 10 pm ]

After talking on the phone to JC, I feel so much better now. And there’s something that he’s brought up that got me thinking. Perhaps the reason why my prayers for direction and purpose are not answered is because God wants me to make a decision on and for my own. And to worry on whether the decisions I make would be correct or the right one doesn’t really matter. What matters is that upon deciding on what I want to do, I pray about it. Pray for peace of mind and heart on the decision I’ve made. To a certain extend I’m reluctant to make a decision, though I know I must. I’ve tried to weight the pros and cons, and yet, the scale is of equal for the time being. And sometimes, just when I thought I have made my decision, changes of circumstances make my decision to question once again.

I think that I’ve not though about it deep enough yet. That why it’s so easy for my so-called decision to be put on enquiry with the slightest change. Perhaps my consideration on that matter is all wrong. That my perception of it is wrong. Perhaps I should view it in another perspective and not be so shallow about it.

And so ends another night, still unable to stand firmly to a decision for the time being. And perhaps as my head rest on my pillow, cuddling with Martin bear, saying a lil prayer before I sleep, I will wake up with a new perspective of things in the morning.

Reflection of the day:
Psalm 22:1-2
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
So far from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry out to you by day, but you do not answer,
By night and am not silent.


Day Three {22nd November 2006}
[ 8.30 pm ]

Woke up this morning, feeling much better than I did last morning. Had a nightmare, but prayed about it and my heart was peaceful and calm afterwards. Had breakfast, and went to work. Felt much better today, manage to get bulk of my work done. Now just need to document down neatly and fill in the gaps here and there. My PPE still doesn’t tie. Pushed it back to client. The thing about the working environment here in Miri is that they do not stay back late to work. Client asked me yesterday “What time do you plan to go back today?” I just replied “Oh, we plan to leave early today, perhaps about 7 pm or 8 pm.” “That’s not early. In our term, that’s late already” she exclaimed.

Well in mine it’s early, it’s like a bonus to be able to go back at that time.

Heard some Christian songs on the way to lunch today. Felt really spiritually rejuvenated. And in the hypermarket where we had our lunch, Christmas song’s playing. Really looking forward to spend the one week Christmas holidays with my cousins. Miss them so very much. They are one of the very few groups of people I can really be happy with.

[ 10.30 pm ]

Feeling a lil more hyper now. Taking my time to do my work. Listening to my mp3. Somehow, a song can’t seem to get out of my head right now. Heard it twice since I got here. A malay/indonesion song. Will make note to get the title from Yin.

[ 11.55 pm ]

Done. Or at least some of the things are done. Will need to do up more tomorrow. Shall go to bed in a short time. Martin Bear’s smiling. Wish I could be just like him. Smile Kathlynn. Smile.

Reflection of the day:
Hearing The Voice Of God
1) Hearing the voice of God is possible for you
2) God speaks in different ways
3) Acknowledge your sin before God
4) Revisit the scene of God’s guidance
5) God can and will speak to you
6) God will make it clear in his time
7) Be alert to the sign of God
8) Discern true guidance from false guidance
9) Yield your heart completely to the Lord
10) God will reveal your calling
11) Stay in constant communication with God
12) God wants a relationship with you

Matthew 7:7-8
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks; the door will be opened.


Day Four {23rd November 2006}
[ 10 pm ]

Had dinner just now in Dave Deli, spaghetti carbonara. Now I’m watching television – don’t know the title of the show, but I see Adam Sandler & Penelope Cruz.

Missing JC a lot. Really. He’s been going through some rough times lately. And I’m really sorry that I’m not there for him at this crucial time. When I hear his voice when he’s feeling down, I feel really sad too.

I want to call him now. Miss him a whole loads. Everyday. Never missed someone as much as I miss him.

Reflection of the day:
Ecclesiastes 8:5-7
Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm,
And the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure,
For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter,
Though a man’s misery weights heavily upon him.
Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come?


Day Five {24th November 2006}
[ 10.30 pm ]

Received two congratulatory calls today. One from my college and another from my firm’s HR. Feeling kinda stressed out actually. I know, I’m really really sounding like an ungrateful brat right now. I’m sincerely thankful for what I have. Really. But somehow, this kinda things complicates my life even further.

So yes, I won an award for the professional paper I’m taking now. But somehow, I don’t feel as if I really deserve to have it. I know of others who worked their butts off, and I on the other hand, got it relatively easy. I know it’s unfair, I can understand how some might feel towards this. And I would swap place to anyone who’s willing to be me, for I think I will be happier being in someone else’s shoes rather than mine.

Anyways, on a lighter note, we drew a really cute picture on our audit room whiteboard today. I was represented as a girl with a “ring on her fourth finger” while another associate was represented by her thumbdrive hanging around her neck. Funny things we do when we are really stressed out.

We had lunch nearby Miri town today, I had Laksa. It was good. Our client took us ‘makan-angin’. A short drive around the coastal road. Kinda nice, and felt kinda relaxed. Again, I’m thinking of my hometown. Miss everyone back home. I think I’m actually feeling home-sick. *weird*

By the way, I’ve found out the name of the river right opposite from the place I’m staying. It’s Sungai Miri. But that’s what I was told by the client. As auditors, we are trained to be professionally skeptical, so I would obtain more corroborative evidence on that representation. *wink*

On that note, I was interrogated by my colleagues today. And they did find out that I’m seeing someone from the firm. Nice. Very nice. They used analytical review to come to that conclusion, said it all jived. Said that I’m lucky. JC is a nice guy. But I already know that. *wink*

For the time being, my progress on my decision is kinda at a standstill. I was kinda sure what I’ve decided on, but last morning, a lil voice inside my head keeps telling me to wait “for the right timing”.

For the right timing? I’ve narrowed down my decision to; leave now or leave two years later, and now you’re saying that I need to wait for the right timing? I wonder if it’s really an answer from God or if I’m just getting a lil cold feet over my decision?

Anyways, I still have another week plus to decide.

Timing, timing, timing…….

Now what could that possibly mean?

Reflection of the day:
John 1:3
Through him all things were made, without him nothing was made that has been made.


Day Six {25th November 2006}
[ 10.45 pm ]

Went to work this morning. Didn’t wake up that early though. The taxi was playing nice Christian songs. Immediately when I stepped into the taxi, the CD player was playing “Light of The World”. It really made my morning. I was actually feeling happy. Kinda feels nice to have that warm fuzzy feeling in your heart once again. Rare moments of happiness. Learn to appreciate it.

Had a nice Japanese lunch just now at a place nearby my client’s office. The chawan mushi’s really good. Kinda pricey though, but it’s almost similar price to the ones in KL. Left office at 3pm today, coz client have to close up after us. The taxi we regularly took recommended us to go spelunking in Gua Niah. Got us all excited and all. Bought torchlights for our planned trip next Saturday. *excited*

Had a conversation with dad on the phone just now. We we’re talking bout the possibility of me resigning and quitting my pursuance of my professional paper. He said, metaphorically, that there’s another 2 more year (3 more papers) to go. He said I should just continue so that I will obtain my driving license at the end of the day. I told him that I already have a license, but he rebutted by saying this is a flying license and the other one is a driving license. He say since I’m unsure of what I wanted to do now, might as well obtain as many licenses as I could, so that I could drive anything I wanted at the end of the day (meaning to say I can do whatever I wanted).

I told him “Fine, but do you promise that you would allow me to do whatever I want to do at the end of the day?”

“What do you mean?” he asked

“What if I told you that I want to ride a bicycle instead? Would you allow me to ride a bicycle?”

“Why would you want to do that? You are one of the very few to have the opportunity to drive whatever you want and you want to ride a bicycle? You don’t even need a license for that.”

Exactly my point. Knew that he wouldn’t be able to accept my point of view. It’s difficult sometimes to be where I’m now. I never ever will have a chance to ride a bicycle coz I could be driving anything I want. He could never see that perhaps I need to see for myself if I would enjoy bicycle riding instead. Honestly, I know that he just wants the best for me. But sometimes I just wish that he could see where I’m coming from. And perhaps support me of my decisions.

Goodnight Martin bear. You’re the only one I could cuddle with tonight.

Reflection of the day:
Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a man’s heart,
But it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails
.

Day Seven {26th November 2006}
[ 1.20 pm ]

Woke up much later than I normally do today. Went out for breakfast/lunch. Had laksa, kolok mee (a Sarawak noodle), dim sum, duck meat, etc.

After that, we went to a toyshop nearby. All in a chirstmasy spirit, with Christmas trees on the sidewalk, Christmas tree decorations inside, Christmas music playing. Oh, how I’m looking forward to spending Christmas with everyone back home. Really unbelievable that it was almost one year ago that we had our first Christmas celebration back home. It was also my late-grandpa’s last Christmas celebration with us. I really do miss him so much. I wonder if he would look down at me from above and be proud of me? Or be disappointed at me? I really do hope that it’s the former.

As I’m sitting on my bed now, looking out the window, I see the calm blue sea. It’s really beautiful. A sense of calmness and peacefulness. And in the skies above, soft cotton-like clouds. Seems as if the world is a perfect place. Everything in place. but then again, that’s not how it is. Everything is hectic, evil, full of chaos. That’s the reality of life. Without chaos, there could never be peace. Without hate, how can man learn to love? Without hunger, one could never feel full. Without pain, who would understand what happiness truly means?

[ 9.48 pm ]

Had a very heavy dinner just now. Western food. I had Dory fish fillet with potato wedges & coleslaw served with tartar sauce. It’s good, but kinda pricey. Have been spending a lot on food since I’m down here in Sarawak. I’ve RM 150 left in my wallet, meaning to say I’ve spend about RM 150 in one week. My, oh my. Let me reconcile to see what I’ve spend :

Japanese lunch – RM 30
Western dinner – RM 20
Dave Deli dinner – RM 15
Prepaid card – RM 30
Dinner at seafood restaurant – RM 20 x 2 days
Lunch for 5 days – approx RM 30

Yup, so that’s it. I’ve spend bout RM 150 in one week. That’s already a lot for my standard. Gosh, going outstation is not good for my wallet.

[ 2.45 am ]

Technically, this should be Day 8 entry, but what the heck. I’m still awake now coz of the coffee I had just now. Plus, I took a long nap just now. So now I’m wide awake. Must force myself to sleep for if I don’t, I will be all groggy tomorrow. Will snuggle with Martin tonight. Sleep tight.

Reflection of the day:
Isaiah 7:11
Ask the Lord your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or the highest height.

Day Eight {27th November 2006}
[ 7.30 pm ]

Listening to Ai Mei by Yang Cheng Ling. Trying to relax after a really long day working. Still in client’s place actually. But pretty much brain drained. Must take a short break.

Honestly, I am really still undecided on what to do. And I have to admit to a certain extend, I do not wanna think of it. I just hope that someone would just make a decision for me. But then again, that’s what kinda happen here isn’t it? And am I happy? *sigh*

I want guidance. I want direction. I want closure. I just want this stage to be over with. On one hand, I want to finish what I started. I feel that it’s kinda ‘wasted’ to leave something unfinished just like that. It really makes me feel uncomfortable in that sense.

But on the other hand, I’m very unhappy with my current condition. I feel that it’s such a task/chore to go to work everyday. I have to admit that most of the time, I should feel happy. Coz I get to travel to places, meet different people, and see the culture and management of companies, be it big or small. But, something’s still missing. It still feels empty and pointless.

Wish I could be a Martin bear….

Reflection of the day:
Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the Lord
And he will sustain you
He will never let righteous fail


Day Nine {28th November 2006}
[ 11 pm ]

Do you believe in fairy tales?

Well I once did.

Not anymore.

Once upon a time doesn’t always end with happily ever after.

If only life is that simple.

It never is.

Fairy tales.

Hmp…

So why am I crying?

Why am I crying when listening to Guang Liang’s – Tong Hua?

Why oh why?

*sobs*

Reflection of the day:
Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course,
But the Lord determines his step.


Day Ten {29th November 2006}
[edited]

Manager flew in last night. Was with us the next morning. Had KFC again for lunch. I have enough of KFC for the year (but that’s like only a few weeks away before the new year).

Director flew in today. Met her at her favorite toy shop here in Miri. She was contemplating whether or not to buy a collector’s edition of Barbie doll (made by silkstone – whatever that may be) for RM 800++. My jaw dropped. RM 800++ for a Barbie Doll??

Well according to her it’s more of an investment. The value of the doll would appreciate about 10% p.a. Hmmmm…. Interesting…

At the end, she bought the doll. Bargained. The shop owner did reduce the price to a round RM 800. Still to expensive if you ask me. She & the manager came over to our apartment to discuss issues of our client. Later that night before she left, she had a lil tour to all our rooms. On the way out of mine, she saw Martin bear sitting on the corner of my night light table.

She teased me, and told the manager this… “You see la, we bringing a little girl to audit. Aiyoh…..”

Darn!

Reflection of the day:
1 Thessalonians 5:24
The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.


Day Eleven {30th November 2006}
[ 6 pm ]

Bloody brain dead now. Can’t really do much. Kinda moody right now. Definitely due to the lack of sleep. And for a fact that I know that I won’t be happy if I continue to remain working as an auditor. I hate this feeling. Coz it just makes me wanna cry. Just want to drop everything and cry.

Had a review with Director just now. It went ok, just that there are a few careless mistake here and there that I know I should have avoided. Don’t know why I could have made such mistakes. But surprisingly, she nice. Think that she’s really in a good mood today.

Had KFC for lunch today. Think it’s like the 4th time I had KFC since I was in Miri. Enough of KFC for me for the year. Today is Sim’s birthday. Didn’t even wish him yet. Yesterday was TSoon, which I also remembered but did not wish him. Nasty friend am I not?

I want to go home now. Waiting for our cab driver. His name is Luke. Nice guy. Really. Can’t write much. Not joking when I said my brain is dead. Only reason why I’m still breathing is that it’s automatic. Sleep I need. Cry I will. Martin I miss. Pray I must.

Reflection of the day:
Hebrew 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.


Day Twelve {1st December 2006}
[ 12 am ]

Friday. Last day of work here in Miri. Kinda relaxed now. Not much to do. Just tidying up some documentations as well as filling. Bid my last farewell to clients. Really felt sad. Kinda have a lil attachment with them I guess. But that’s life. Learn to move on and try not to have too much emotional attachment to anyone, especially colleagues and clients.

Watched a movie just now in the ONLY mall in Miri with a cinema. The condition of the cinema was really bad. Really dodgy. We paid RM8 per ticket. Manual tickets, not like the printed on we have in KL. But the movie was good. Really enjoyable. “Happy Feet” – absolutely must watch!

Went home at about 11.30pm. Have to wake up early tomorrow for our very much anticipated Niah Caves exploration! Goodnight Miri for the very last time!

Reflection of the day:
Isaiah 58:11
The Lord will guide you always;
He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
And he will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well watered garden,
Like a spring whose water never fail.


Finale {2nd December 2006}
[ 6pm ]

My final day in Miri. Woke up at 5.15 am. Looked out at the window. Feeling at peace, as always. Gonna be my last time for such a peaceful moment. Said a lil prayer – for me and for JC too. Up till now I have not actually really made my decision yet. I’m still not at peace with either decision.

Got ready. Packed up the remainder items and stuff it into my luggage bag. Also packed my hiking bag (which is actually my laptop back *wink*) with snacks (biscuits and crackers), water as well as some sweets.

Client (Bann) was waiting for us at 6 am sharp, as promised. She then picked up another client (Gading) nearby. It was kinda drizzling that time, but I was praying that the rain would stop.

Reached there at about 7.30 am. First to arrive *wink*. Bought tickets for five of use (cost us only RM30). It’s still drizzling. In fact it got heavier when we’re boarding a boat to go across the river. But we (especially me) was very persistent to continue the journey. Thankfully, the Bann & Gading are also very eager to go too (it’s their umpteenth time to this cave actually – but they were equally excited as we were).

It was really slippery on the wooden planks we had to walk before reaching the caves. Some of the planks are rotting so we had to be extra careful. There are some parts of the journey that we had to balance ourselves on just on plank. As if walking on the planks in a pirate’s ship *wink*. According to Bann, it’s only 1.8 km hike before we reach the mouth of the caves, but lil do we know that we were actually deceived by her (so much of us being a good auditor… wonder what else has she deceived us on).

We stop halfway to have our breakfast. one piece of tuna bread roll made by Bann (who woke up extra earlier). Thank goodness for her, for we would never have woke up to make anything and would have starved to death.

The rain got even heavier, so Gading did a very clever thing. She took the leaves from a tree – known as Tuak tree. According to her, the leaves of the tree has many use, including as a plate for the native (Ibans) to eat their food on. Just like banana leaves for the Indian I suppose. Well, the other use of this leaves is non other than as an umbrella. I didn’t use it of course, coz I absolutely love the rain. Don’t mind getting all soaked wet under the rain. *happiness*

When we reach to the mouth of the caves, we have already hiked 3 km (according to the markings on the side of the path).Was extremely exhausted at that time, but we really enjoy the view of the mountains. Really breathtaking (possibly also due to the fact that we were panting for air *wink*)

We went in a further 1 km into the caves. It was really slippery in the caves too due to guano (remember learning this word from Ace Venture – Pet Detective *hahaha*). Gading advise us not to hold the rail of the pathway (due to hygiene factor) but I would rather dirty my hands than to fall down and break my back. We each took out our torchlight. Really fun – feeling very adventurous and all. I lead the group halfway in, but after felt a lil bit scared as we went in deeper, so I let Bann took over. We saw a cave painting, high above the cave ceiling. We also saw ropes hanging some 500 feet above the ground. It was for the bird nest collector to climb and gather the bird nest. Talk about working hazards!

As we entered to the deeper part of the cave (not the deepest though) it was about 4 km from where we started. Bann told us all to switch off our torchlight. It was ABSOLUTE darkness. *amazing*

When we were on the way out (another route), we saw a really beautiful scene of a waterfall from the top of the cave to the bottom. It was really a beautiful view, just like something you get from a postcard. Absolutely amazing.

We took a few pictures, mainly of us drenched wet like lil rats. Wet due to rain and perhaps sweat. On the way down, it was another experience for us. Having to walk like crabs (sideways) as the planks are extremely slippery and our shoes can’t seem to grip the floor properly. Bann had a fun time taking candid shots of us and she was really laughing her head off at our antics. Payback time for her I guess, for all the trouble we got her into during the clearance meeting.

As we hiked back, the rain has already stopped, though the pathway is still very much slippery. We could see caterpillars and bright red centipedes on the rail of the walkway. Could see lil snails basking under the heat (wait a minute – I didn’t know snails like the warmth of the sun, I thought the prefer wet, moist and dark places? Hmmmm….)

Client drove us back. It was another 1 ½ hour’s drive back. She drove really fast. Speed devil! We were really exhausted by then. Don’t even have the energy to eat a bar of chocolate client offer (so you can ACTUALLY imagine how tired I’m). Upon reaching the hotel, we rushed down, had a quick shower, called our cab (Luke), checked out and raced to the airport. We arrived at about 1.45 pm and our flight was scheduled for 2.20 pm.

In the airplane, I dozed off a while.

We flew to Kuching (transit flight) where I bought the chocolates I promised AYin (Triple Decker with peppermint right?). Flew back to KL, more tired than ever.

Back home, was greeted by my Mom & Grandma at the airport. Realized how home sick I actually was.

Went for early birthday celebration. JC was there. Brought chocolate cake. Lovely *wink*. Conclusion, I’m really happy to be home. About my big decision, I guess for the time being the urges to continue on this path is stronger than the other. So I guess I have to stay for the time being. I guess only time will tell in this case.

Timing.

Reflection of the day:
Nahum 1:7
The Lord is good,
A refuge in times of trouble
He cares for those who trust in him

Saturday, March 15, 2008

.: (Belated) Chinese New Year Post :.

Note : A super lagging CNY post that I drafted and saved in MWord and totally forgotten bout it until just now when I was doing some spring cleaning on my laptop files. Well, I guess it's better (super) late than never! :)

The Lunar New Year is here again.

Some things have not changed.
Like rolling out the big ol’ rectangular brown carpet in the living room.
Hanging of the red curtain at the main entrance door (a tradition that is fairly common in Malacca but not in KL).
Hanging of the two big round red lanterns d├ęcor outside.
Sharing of jokes between us cousins on the “children’s table” during reunion dinner on New Year’s eve.
Playing charades after our hearty dinner.
Us cousins munching cookies (pineapple tarts, kuih bangkit, kuih ros, kuih dahlia – to name a few) which were meant for guests (much to my mom’s displeasure).
Our traditional “soja” which we kneel down to wish our elderly and then get their blessings in return.

But there are things that have.
Like not having Grandpa around anymore.
Not waking up to the loud blast of New Year songs which Grandpa will play at around 8am on the first day of the New Year.
No more annual family pictures.
No more excitement of running upstairs after receiving angpows from relatives/friends to count how much we have received (all of us have surpassed that age of getting excited over angpows).

And there are things that will.
Like not having Ben around next year to tell us more dirty jokes (he’s going to Scotland next year to further his studies to be a legal drug peddler i.e. pharmacist)
Or perhaps having another new cousin to celebrate with us next year? *wink* (big hint to my just-married uncle)

It’s just frightening sometimes to think of how much have changed.
But equally exciting to know that some things are still the same.

Wishing everyone a Happy & Blessed Chinese New Year!

And some CNY pics for your viewing pleasure :)

The lil kids having their own Charade - it's not difficult to guess, since their char are only limited to Sponge Bod characters

Lil Eric having a bite of his huge prawn cracker! Yum! Yum!

Lil Rach, the apple of my eye!

.: Edwin McCain : I Could Not Ask For More :.

: Edwin McCain : I Could Not Ask For More :.

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments
I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Chorus
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Chorus

I could not ask for more than the love you give me
Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

Thursday, March 13, 2008

.: When A Journey Comes To An End :.

There comes a point in time where you have to learn to let go of the things
dearest and closest to your heart.
And even though this point would form part of the most painful and hardest decision in your life, you know that it’s the best for everyone.
And years down the road, when you look back and reminisce of the times you had;
you can not help but to just hold back your tears and smile.
If there ever was a chance to have it all done all over again with the same ending,
without missing a beat of my heart, I would say yes.
It’s been exactly 22 short months, but it has indeed been a journey;
and for that very brief moment;
you left an impact that changed my life forever.

Thanks for all the memories.


JC and I have decided to split…
It is one of the most difficult decisions I’ve made, that not only affect my life, but also his…
But I know that it’s the best for the both of us...
And I know that 50 years down the road, I can look back and not regret it…

Sunday, March 9, 2008

.: KiDz :.



This photo was taken a few years back, with my darling baby cousin Rachel.

This picture reminds me of the reason why I love to be with children so much. Their innocents and child-like faith, and pureness of their heart really makes me want to protect and shield them from the harshness and cruelness of the outside world.

They seem to be in a world of their own, delighting themselves with the most menial, simplest thing in an adults' eye. They rarely judge, unlike us adults, who only know how to judge others and care on how others judge us.

They know no pain and suffering, and this can be seen even from the children of the poorest region. Their eyes reflects contentment, even the most simplistic act can bring joy to them. Their laughs, really comes from the heart and you can see their eyes sparkle and dance with joy.

It melts your heart to see them smile. To hear they laugh. Most of all, to have them teach us things we never knew and remind us of things we forget.......

Saturday, March 8, 2008

.: Umbrella :.

With arms wrapped around my shoulder, sharing an umbrella under a heavy downpour....
Isn't it romantic?

Well.... There's just one catch....

We were surrounded by close to 2,000+ people, listening to Teresa Kok (a DAP contestant) propagating.

JC and I was attending a ceramah in Taman Tun Dr Ismail at a huge playground nearby the Sekolah Menengah TTDI 1. It's my first time attending a rally, and I must admit that I'm really overwhelmed by the number of people who turned up. The heavy downpour didn't stop these people.

Some of the topics highlighted by the speakers really hit the note; with great applauds and shouts from the crowds!

In my opinion, Teresa Kok was a really good speaker. She's charismatic, able to bring all relevant issues to the point (not wavering), her good command of English & Cantonese.... It's really admirable...

Nurul Izzah ( daughter of Anwar Ibrahim representing PKR - contesting against Sharizat (BN) ), Lim Lip Eng (Segambut candidate for Parliamentary constituencies) also gave a lil speach, but the crowd went really wild when Raja Petra took the stage - it's almost like a member of The Beetle was there or something (ok, fine - highly exggerated, but you know what I'm trying to get at).

And just yesterday, I went for my 2nd and final rally in SS2 (in front of MJ Cafe) about 10pm with Tony Pua, Haris Ibrahim and Gobind Singh (son of Karpal Singh) as speakers for the day.

So today would be the day, that fellow 10.4 million registered Malaysian voters (the numbers could be higher if you include phantom voters - *bad joke*) to cast their vote and decide on the future leaders of our nation!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

.: Birthday Wishes For Soo Ann :.


Dear Soo Ann


Happy Belated Birthday!
(so sorry for being super late in posting this, but I chose this pic, coz I know you like this lil bear)


p/s : I even back date it for you *wink*wink*


Lot's of hugz & kisses - Kathlynn -
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