Friday, June 29, 2007

.: Life Eternal :.

I’m feeling very pained and troubled inside me right now.

It doesn’t help when on the way to work this morning; my dad was on the speakerphone with one of his colleague.

They were talking about another colleague of theirs

He had nose cancer a while back. After the operation then, he went for chemo and was given the green bill of health. About a few years back, they found a growth in his lungs. The doctors remove it, but whether the growth was malignant or benign, my Dad don’t know. About a month back, he went for another operation. This time because there’s a growth in his brains. It’s malignant. He’s now undergoing radiotherapy.

My Dad and his colleague recently found out that he is selling off his golf clubs, car and house. They do not know the underlying reason behind it, but speculate that he is preparing for the worse.

I’m very saddened to hear such news. The person is only my Dad’s age, mid-50’s.

It’s not the only sad news I’ve heard so far.

In my Dad’s workplace itself, there was news of colleague who died while working (due to the rupture of a main artery in the brain.

There’s also of a young man, who died in a gruesome accident on the way back from a meeting. His wife was pregnant then. When the bad news was conveyed to her, she went hysterical.

A few colleagues of his also have had heart attacks, some even during working hours.

If one were to say that this happens to the more “elderly” generation, I beg to differ.

The young man who died in the car accident; he had his whole life ahead of him. He’s just at the peak of his life, and all was taken away; just like that.

What about a course mate of one of my friend? My age. Healthy. Active. The only sign was that she was most of the time fatigue. One day, she just went into a coma. She was diagnosed with leukemia. But the diagnosis came far too late. She passed away just a couple of weeks back, never waking for her coma.

And there’s also another close friend’s friend. She had cancer. Also my age.

Life on earth, is so short…

Sometimes, it’s shorter than you think it is…

The plans that you make for yourselves, 5 years from now, a year from now, a month from now, even a day from now, you might never wake up to that.

Depressing thought isn’t it?

But it’s the facts of life…

So, instead of ONLY planning for the immediate future, why not also include planning for eternity?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

.: Just A Lil' Unwell :.

I'm not feeling very well today...

In spite of taking multi-vitamins almost everyday (to say everyday would tantamount to a lie), drinking plenty of water, taking soluble Vitamin Cs twice a week..

I'm down with fever, headache, nausea......

I just want to cuddle with my soft bolster, underneath my warm comforter.....

Sometimes, being alone is not as bad as it seems

It's being lonely when you're not alone ; that's bad

Learn to enjoy singlehood all over again.....

.: Anxiety :.

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

Philippians 4:6-7

4:6 Be anxious for nothing. Fret and worry indicate a lack of trust in God's wisdom, sovereignty, or power. Delighting in the Lord and meditating on His Word are a great antidote to anxiety. All difficulties are within God's purposes. Prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving .

4:7 Peace of God. Inner calm or tranquillity is promised to the believer who has a thankful attitude based on unwavering confidence that God is able and willing to do what is best for His children. Surpasses all understanding, refers to the divine origin of peace. It transcends human intellect, analysis, and insight.

Friday, June 22, 2007

.: The Mystery Of the Missing Post :.

This is weird... Absolutely weird... According to this, I've successfully posted my blog, but it's nowhere to be found.

It's in here alright, just that when I'm to preview it in my page, it's not there...

o0o0o0o0o0...... magic *wink*

.: I'll Be There :.

.: I'll Be There :.

Over mountains
Over trees
Over oceans
Over seas
Across the desert
I'll be there

In a whisper on the wind
On the smile of a new friend
Just think of me
And I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight
To be with you
Because I'm on your side
And I still care
I may have died but I've gone nowhere
Just think of me
And I'll be there

On the edge of a waking dream
Over rivers, over streams
Through wind and rain
I'll be there

Across the wide and open sky
Thousands of miles I'd fly
To be with you
I'll be there

Don't be afraid oh, my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight
To be with you
Because I'm on your side
And I still care
I may have died but I've gone nowhere
Just think of me
And I'll be there

In the breath of a wind that sighs
Oh theres no need to cry
Just think of me
And I'll be there

Don't be afraid oh, my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight
To be with you
Because I'm on your side
And I still care
I may have died but I've gone nowhere
Just think of me
And I'll be there

When you think of me
I'll be there.
Grandpa....I miss you

Thursday, June 21, 2007

.: I Believe ... :.

I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone...

Ever been in a position where you try so hard just to be recognized or be loved,
But in the end, you’re being totally ignored, taken for granted, unappreciated, unloved…

I believe that most of us do

But more often that not we fail to realize one thing.....

Jesus loves us

For who we are
And who we are not
He loves us not “because” but “even though”
We can never comprehend His love for us
We can never offer such love to anyone or anything
We say a mothers’ love for a child is unconditional
That’s not very true
Even a mother loses temper, gets dishearten, sometimes even gives up on her child
But Jesus NEVER will
It’s an eternal promise

So for one thing - even if I'm alone and feel that the whole world has turned it's back on me I know that Jesus is there by my side - ALWAYS

Aren't we glad for this?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

.: I Believe ... :.

I believe that beauty magazine promotes low self esteem ...

Speaking of which, my dear cousin Yin got herself a copy of this month's CLEO. (What a coincedence coz I was planning to on this)

Anyways, here's my humble opinion on this issue.

Well, I have to confess that I do read beauty magazines, though I don't buy them on a regular basis.

Do they actually promote low self esteem, especially to women?

Many argue that they do, putting a pretty face with hot, hot, hot body that just screams "Be like ME and this will get you everywhere and anywhere........" This is indeed the message that these beauty magazines are trying to sell to the average Jane out there.

Articles like "How to Lose 20 pounds in 20 days"; "Implants & Plastic Surgery"; "How to Be Desired by the XY's conterpart", actaully pressures women (both young & the young at heart) to be more and more like the "ideal" women, rather that the "realistic" ones.

Be honest to ourselves, how many of us are lucky enough to have the body of Fergie, or the flawless skin of Nicole Kidman, or the pretty face of Katie Holmes? But yet most of use try so foolishly to achieve the looks this models/celebraties have, no thanks to the idea that all these magazines are trying to promote.

But then again, as they simple concept of economics goes - where there's demand, there's always supply. This trend of pretty, stick-thin models or celebraties on the front cover of beauty magazines are there because people buy them.

Let me give you a simple example,

You would most definately be more attracted to buy a magazine with .....

Angelina Jolie.......

Or even......

Jessica Alba (I'm sure some of you are drooling right now - men and women alike)

This underlying concept behind this is beauty sells.

But to be fair, I find these beauty magazines useful as there's some articles which you can educate you, for example - Breast Cancer Awareness; Financial Managements; etc.....

It's a double-edge sword I suppose.

Use it wisely, and you will be able to yield what you need to boost your self-confidence.

Use it foolishly, and you will run the risk of trying to hard to be prefect, and fail miserably.

Monday, June 11, 2007

.: My Crush :.

Rules: For those who have been tagged, you are required to write a story about one of your crushes, be it a current or a previous crush. To be exactly different from the common tags, there is no questions imposed this time. All you have to do is write a story about him/her. Also, 5 persons will need to be tagged at the end of the post. You must post up these rules before you start writing.

My dear cousin Yin tagged me a couple of days back. And she claimed that I would most likely be too busy with work that I will have no time to reply this tag. Well Yin, for YOUR sake, I will sacrifise my lunch-times to try and finish up this tag, okies-dokies? So nice of me right? Yeah, I already know... *ehem*ehem*

By the way Yin, it's been an unofficial, understood rule that you DO NOT return tag to someone (unless otherwise specified), so your tag to Julian is NOT VALID. Please go find someone else so that you have tagged 5 persons (not one less). No cheating allowed. *hehe*

Story about my crush(es)?

Where do I begin?

Hmmm, sounds like I have loads of crushes till I can't actually keep track right? *wink*

To be honest, I have only a couple of crushes ever since I can remember. And most of them remained crushes (i.e. I never told them that I felt that way for them). It was merely small crushes, did not reach the stage where I stalked them or worshipped the ground they walk on (some of my friends actually did that - kinda scary isn't it?)

It's just a little crush
Not like I faint everytime we touch
It's just some little fling
Not like everything I do
Depends on you
~ Jennifer Paige~

My last crush back in high school was when I was in early Form 3. And subsequent to that, I thought I would not have anymore of it, but I was proven so so so wrong.

I actually noticed that my crushes are mostly the kind of guys that girls would not actually have a crush on. Realistically speaking, girls usually develop crushes on guys that are relatively good looking or charming, a sweet talker (those Hollywood/Bollywood male-hunks). I, on the other hand, are more attracted to those who are shy, quiet, and low-on-the-radar, if you know what I mean. I really do have the weirdest taste when it comes to men/boys.

As I've mentioned earlier, ALL but ONE of my crushes remained just crushes. So what happened to that ONE? Well, here's where my story starts.

It was a beautiful sunny day and I was walking down in a beautiful green park, wearing my white dress and....

and I saw him....

he was standing there....

a vision of great beauty....


Wish I could tell it all happened this way, but the truth to the matter is....

I met him in PwC...


I know, so potong stim right?


My first day at work in Wisma Sime Darby. I remember I was really nervous. I don't know what to say, don't know what to expect. I met a few friends who was in the same interview session with me. It's actually nice to see a few familiar faces around. In a way, it did me little comfort.

The first two weeks was induction week. We started to mingle around, introduce (some even sell) ourselves to each other.

So what exactly was our first conversation?

I can't really recall, but if my memory serves me right, it was during tea break, and he was having a cup of coffee/milo, I went up to him, smiled, and asked him what his name was.

He introduced himself, but I don't recall him asking my name.

To keep the conversation going, I asked him which Uni was he from.

He did not manage to answer as it was time for us to get back into the meeting room.

I remembered that he helped me transferred songs from a mutual friend's laptop to mine. He asked me which music I preferred. I said "anything will do".

After induction week was over, coincidently both of us, plus some other batchmates, was not allocated a job yet. You see, in the audit firm I work for, our task allocation is based on the matrix function (i.e. teams are formed on a job to job basis). And since it was off-peak then (early August) there we were - free. I sat next to him for most of the time. Since he was always early to work, I asked him to save a place for me next to him.

During those few "free" weeks, we started to know more about each other. He taught me how to use the photocopy machine (its' that COMPLICATED ok!), we exchanged our collection of Mp3s. His was mainly the oldies and jazz, while mine was more of pop and ballad. Whatever it is, we had a lot of fun. We would joke around, he would try to come out with the corniest pick-up lines to entertain me (not use it on me ya!), talk about our colleagues (also known as gossiping....hehe).

After that few short weeks, we “went our separate ways”. He was on a long study leave for his ICAEW exams while I was busy with a job. Once in a while we do meet in office, and at those very rare occasion, we will continue to chatter about, and exchanging more Mp3s.

I had a chance to work with him on a job. It was within the same group of companies, but different company and location. I remember having dinner with him once. It was then that we got to know each other more personally.

I remembered we went on a Shell stocktake down in Port Dickson once. I never had that much fun attending a stocktake in my whole PwC days. He drove us down at 4am+ and we reached there early enough to see such a beautiful view of the oil refinery, brightly litted, with the sky painted in hues of orange, purple and blue.

He brought me to the beach after that and spend me dinner when we were back in KL.

When I was working in MidValley, we had dinner in a Japanese restaurant one Friday night. I had so much fun that I jokingly suggested that we do it every week. Little did I know that he would ask me out for a movie the next week.... and the week after that.

At that time, he was interested in another girl. A junior from his Uni. He told me alot about her. I was glad that he shared something so personal with me. I, being me, wanted to help him out with that girl (figures why my MSN nick used to be Baby Cupid). He would call that girl every week, and then call me to tell me the outcome of the conversation. I would sometimes offer advise on how to approach her.

It was somewhere during April that we started to attend class together. Since he was the only friend I knew there, I asked him to save a place for me next to him in class. It was only for two weeks, then I went back to work again and he continued with another class.

It was then that I realised that I started to think of him; started to look forward to his calls or his smses.

I called my close friends and cousins.

"I think I got a crush on a colleague of mine. HELP! I'm too old for crushes!"

They laughed at me at first, and I join them, laughing at myself for having such a silly crush.

But the situation got more complicated when he started giving mixed-signals. Sometimes, he hints that he enjoys my company, but other times he would tell me that he treats me like a little sister.

I was frusrated with the whole situation, and I remember posting this on my old blogsite;

Hope that you will be able to see me as a girl, rather than some good buddy you hang out with...
Hope that you will treat me like a princess, rather than some football teammates after a match...
Hope that you will be able to feel, how I feel towards you... For what's worth, I'm just like any other girl...
If circumstances were different, if we would have meet differently...
Would there ever be a chance?
Or will we still end up the way we are now?
I'm your friend, your buddy, your pal... everything... but not a girl that you want to spend your life with or at least even date...
Used to be proud of the fact that I was treated like one of the guys... The crude jokes, the sinister plans, the roughness and masculinity of everything...
Envy those girls you flirt with,
those girls you fall in love with,

those girls you share your happiness with...
For I'm the girl you go to when your feeling down,

or when you screw up on your job
or when you are lonely and needed company
for I'm always available weekends after weekends after weekends...
Will this forever be my fate? Or will there be a chance that one day ugly duckling will be seen as a beautiful swan...
Makes you wonder doesn't it?

On one hand I was trying to be a good friend for him. I thought that if he found out how I felt, it would change everything that we share now, and I was not ready to lose that. On the other hand, I was trying to convience myself that it was just a crush and like all my other crushes, it would eventually fade off.

So I continued on, acting like nothing happened.

I was on MSN with him one night. We started casually chatting about anything and everything. Mostly blah-blahs since he was over-stressed from studying. One conversation topic led to another. It was then that he asked me if I liked him.

I froze.

I was cornered.

I confessed, with the fear of the possibility of losing a good friend.

He too then told me he liked me too.

And one thing led to another..... and here we are......

*all smiles*

Dear John,
A short dedication to you on our 13th monthiversary (which is tomorrow). I know you don't celebrate monthiversaries. I know how silly the idea seems to you.
But anyhows, I LOVE YOU.

I tag :

1. Tamie 2. Kevin 3. Swi Shyang 4. Soo Ann 5. Ling Fei

I'm very sure that once these people start up a blog, they will repost this tag. Right, right, right?

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

.: I Believe ... :.

I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do...

I would believe that this would be the truth, and since I'm not a parent myself, I can't vouch to that.

But I guess, when the maternal or paternal instinct kicks in, parents wants nothing but the best (or the things that they think is the best) for their own child.

My mom once said to me...

"You won't understand, until you become a mother yourself.... "

Too soon to think of that for the time being....

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

.: I Believe ... :.

I believe that junk food taste so good because it's bad for you...

If this is to be translated literally, then it just means that the junk food we eat taste so0o0o good because it's bad for our health.


Junk food are foods which lack nutrients (vitamins and minerals) but has high energy (calories), hence the term "empty calories".

Potato chips

Junk food, as you can see, includes salted snack food, fried fast food, sweets & candies, carbonated beverages, etc, etc

Carbonated candies

I'm sure most of us, at one point in time LOVE consuming to our heart's desire all this junk food.

I know I did!

When I was younger, and was given the choice to choose where to have dinner, I would immediately suggest fast food restaurants like McDs, KFC, Pizza Hut. Now, given the choice, I would rather have home cooked dishes meal or tai-chau anytime.

Sometimes, when I see my cousins (namely Kevin & Rachel) being so0o0o excited to have a meal at a fast food joint, I can help but smile to myself. I was like them once. Now I guess I've grown out of that phase. Thank goodness, I guess. *wink*

But as I explore deeper into the meaning of this phrase, I can't help but think... could it also mean that we human beings are often attracted to bad things, rather than good.

A close friend once told me, in terms of BGR, "nice guys always finishes last". He seems to have this theory that if a guy were to treat a girl extremely nice, giving her everything that he could give, the girl would eventually leave him (or not be in a relationship with him in the first place).

Rather, he concluded that girls are more attracted to "bad boys". Look at Hollywood for instance. Britney was once married to K-Fed wasnt't she? Pamela married rocker Tommy Lee. And look at Lindsay Lohan and her long list of playboy dates.

So why are women attracted to bad boys?

It's a mystery almost as equal as the Bermuda Triangle mystery I guess....

Monday, June 4, 2007

Yin is Wonderful!

Yin is in the house blog!!!

I was having my sweetest dream of Prince Charming this morning when suddenly Christina Aguilera's singing awakened me! Yes, Christina Aguilera kacau-ed my sleep. Actually, my hp ringtone is set to "Come On Over Baby", still it feels good to brag about being awakened by a megastar's singing. =D

So I got a call from Shan Lyn KATH asking me wether I'm free to guestblog for her.
Yin: Wei... *yawns*
Kath: What are you doing?
Yin: I'm still in bed... *yawns*
Kath: Wake up lahhh. Sudah one o'clock lehhh...
Yin: *yawns* Tired lahhh. Why you kacau me??? *yawns*
Kath: You free or not? Want to guestblog for me?
Yin: *HYPER TONE* Want, want, want!!!

Yes, I love blogging. I can even consider it as my new found hobby!

Well, Kath here is my cousin from my paternal side. I'm the younger cousin, OBVIOUSLY! I am 19 this year OK, so stop saying that I look like a secondary kid! =/
I should stop saying things about me-me-me, since this is my jie-jie blog it should be about her-her-her!!!


Taken during Christmas '05.
We wore matching black top. No it wasn't planned!

This is more recent, about a week ago.

Attending my Uncle's wedding.

Just for fun.

Nice or not? I took the time to make this lehhh.

Oh yeah, jie-jie is a smart kid. She always set the standards high for UPSR, PMR, SPM... so we cousins had to be constantly reminded by our "mummynising" mums to achieve the same. I SHOULD BLAME HER FOR TURNING ME INTO A NERD!!! =/

Her favourite colour is blue. She is "supposedly" allergic to seafood. She likes Winnie the Pooh and Meg Ryan's character in "You've Got Mail". I think her deep affection with Meg Ryan might be one of the reasons she "slashed" her hair short.

Well, she is practically my big sister, confidante, someone to look for when I'm in deep shit, bitching buddy, someone I share my joys and sorrows with, bla-bla-bla ... I even started blogging last year because of her,,, but I think I went a little blog crazy these days... hehehe. Visit my blog >>here<<. Ok, just a little promotion on my behalf ... soweee jie!

She constantly remind me and people of the universe not to date an accountant, but guest who is a she dating now!

"Cakap tak serupa bikin"

Ok that's all from Yin. I think Tammie will be guest-blogging for her soon. I want Tammie to guestblog for me too!!! Tomato Tammie is another cousin of mine and her writings can make me put on a BIG SMILE the whole day. *insider joke*


.: I Believe ... :.

I believe we place our happiness in other people's hand...

What does this word happiness means to you?

Encarta defines happiness as :

happy [ háppi ] (comparative happier, superlative happiest)

1. feeling pleasure: feeling or showing pleasure, contentment, or joy.Happy smiling faces
2. causing pleasure: causing or characterized by pleasure, contentment, or joy.A happy childhood
3. satisfied: feeling satisfied that something is right or has been done right.Are you happy with your performance?
4. willing: willing to do something.I'd be only too happy to help.
5. fortunate: resulting unexpectedly in something pleasant or welcome.A happy coincidence
6. tipsy: slightly drunk ( informal )
7. used in greetings: used in formulae to express a hope that somebody will enjoy a special day or holidayHappy birthday!
8. too ready to use something: inclined to use a particular thing too readily or be too enthusiastic about a particular thing ( used in combination ) trigger-happy

The synonyms of happiness includes : Felicity, Blessedness, Bliss

Many believe that happiness is a state of mind, therefore the real source of happiness lies in the mind, not in external circumstances.

In the great words of Aristotle - "Happiness depends upon ourselves."

Then why is it so often the case that we place our own happiness in other people's hands?

Why is it so that the choice for us to either be happy or not, no longer becomes a choice?

It is indeed difficult for one to seperate it all, and say that they "choose" to be happy, therefore they are

Our lifes are more often than not affected with the people that walks in and out of life.

Sometimes, happiness (and sadness) is not a matter or choice, but rather an influence of the people around you.

It's a battle, I guess, a constant struggle, to place ones happiness in one's own hands.

We hold it to be a self-evident truth, that all men are endowed with the inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness......
Thomas Jefferson

But then again,

Some pursue happiness, others create it....

Sunday, June 3, 2007

.: I Believe ... :.

I believe the sun should not set upon an arguement...

In our day to day life, there's bound to be conflicts with another person; be it with our bosses, colleagues, strangers on the the phone that we have never met before, and more often than not, our loved ones.

These conflicts/arguements often arises not so much because both parties differ in opinion, but rather becauyse that neither conflicting parties is willing to take a step back and give in.

In society nowadays, this is often the case. People tend to adopt this "kiasu" (which translated directly from Hokkien means "scared to lose") attitude, in addition to the over-inflated egos, the thought of backing-off would merely mean "losing".

What the phrase "the sun should not set upon an arguement" litarally means is that when the sun sets (i.e. a day is gone), leave all your arguements of the day behind. Never bring it beyond the sun set (i.e. tomorrow).

I would love to illustrate this point with a story which I'm sure most of you have read before (but I might have modified a little to get my point across)

The carpenter I hired to help me restore and old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A fiery arguement with his wife that morning, flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree", he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job or arguements or misunderstandings with people, but one thing for sure, I do not what to bring them home with me when the sun sets. So I just hang them on the tree every evening when I come home. Then in the morning I will pick them up again."

"Funny thing is", he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before ."

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