Saturday, March 30, 2013

.: Books I've Read In 2013 :.

1) 50 Shades Of Grey – E. L. James
2) The Best Laid Plans – Sidney Sheldon
3) Morning, Noon and Night – Sidney Sheldon
4) Never Look Away - Linwood Barclay
5) Where Are The Children? - Mary Higgins Clark
6) The Wood - Harlan Coben
7) Cross Bones - Kathy Reich 
8) Snow Flower and the Secret Fan - Lisa See

Ok, so I know I've said that I would take a hiatus. I can't help it, honestly. When I picked Sheldon's book on Saturday, I was hooked and read from cover to cover in 3 solid hours. It was that good. Then I picked another Sheldon's book on Sun after dinner and completed it before bedtime. Reading is addictive, and going cold turkey over it may perhaps be a bad idea. It sounds like it's wrong to be reading, but given the circumstances, I need to allocate my 24 hours a day elsewhere. Priorities have to be given to my 2013 goals! Anyways, #12booksin12months, that's all, I promise *cross fingers behind back*. Ok, fine. I promise to try to limit myself to that much. *smirk*

Friday, March 29, 2013

.: Good Decision :.

A good decision is based on knowledge not numbers. -Plato-

Thursday, March 28, 2013

.: Time Travelers :.

Hi. I’m Ted Mosby. And exactly 45 days from now, you and I are gonna meet. And we’re going to fall in love. And we’re gonna get married and… we’re gonna have two kids. And we’re gonna love them, and each other, so much.

All that is 45 days away.

But I’m here now, I guess because… I want those extra 45 days. With you.

I want each one of them.

And if I can’t have them I’ll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up and punches me in the face, because… I love you. I’m always going to love you, until the end of my days, and beyond.

You’ll see.
Ted Mosby, The Time Travelers (Season 8, Episode 19) of How I Met Your Mother

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

.: Leadership :.

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animations and more

Thursday, March 21, 2013

.: These Shoes Are Made For Walking :.

A colleague was trying to explain to me about oil well capacity. Knowing that I am new to this industry and know like next to nothing about oil wells, he tried to illustrate it using an example:

He typed this in our Microsoft Lync “It’s like a car engine.”

Before he could finish typing, I replied “Erm… I know nuts about car except that it gets me from point A to point B”

He replied “……”

And then continues to type “In that case, it’s like shoes….”

Now we’re talking the same language. Haha! :)

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

.: Torn :.

I am, yet again, feeling a lil down.
Torn between taking it easy and pushing to the limit.
It’s always the same, age-old personal dilemma.
Oh, what should I do?

Now playing: Just Give Me A Reason

Monday, March 18, 2013

.: Freedom Of Choice :.

Freedom of choice is what you got,
Freedom from choice is what you want.
- Devo, Freedom Of Choice -

Friday, March 15, 2013

.: Just Give Me A Reason : P!nk & Nate Ruess :.

Just Give Me A Reason : P!nk & Nate Ruess
Right from the start
You were a thief
You stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh
Things you never say to me oh oh
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I'm sorry I don't understand
Where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Oh we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everythin'
And it's all in your mind
(Yeah but this is happenin')
You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh
You used to lie so close to me oh oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love
Oh our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
I never stopped
You're still written in the scars on my heart
You're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh tear ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust
But our love's enough
You're holding it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll come clean

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh oh, that we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I just love this song, in every aspect.
Love that it is just in such a simple tune, with just a simple piano at the start and the beat of the drums (and perhaps a bass?) midway.
Love that the two voices harmonises so well to produce such lovely duet.
Love, especially, the lyrics to this song (which is written by the two), because, like so many things in life, nothing is completely certain.
In this song, the female version (by Pink) is deliberating if there is something not quite right with this relationship. Is she over thinking it? Is she reading too much into it?
As for the male version (by Nate - from Fun, if you can not already identify his unique voice) is convinced that there's nothing wrong, perhaps he's being oblivious? Or ignorant?
In the end, there's no clear conclusion.

Just listen to the song and let me know what you think.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

.: The Bug Caught Me Again :.

Just when I thought my health have been improving, I caught a cold bug and was knocked out since Tuesday with a recurring fever. Just when I though things are getting better.... Sigh. Perhaps some things will never change, will they?

Monday, March 11, 2013

.: Battle To Lose :.

I came across a article the other day, that tug a string across my little heart. The topic written by the author is something close to home; being fat. However, unlike the author who claims to be fat but perfectly happier, my story is of a different light.

I was and have been on a chubby side for as long as I remember. When I was younger, back in primary school; I was constantly being teased by my schoolmates of my weight.

“When you walk, you wobble like a penguin!” exclaimed one girl.

“You’re so fat; you’d surely be last in a race” laughed a boy in my class.

Back then, I didn’t really care. Yeah, so I was fat, but you talk funny, I replied back to the girl. “I may be last, but you run like a girl!” I tauntingly replied the boy, sticking my tongue out.

I truly didn’t care, the words that they say didn’t hurt me one bit. Not even when my mom, who gives the disapproving glance as I reach for the third, fourth, maybe even fifth slice of pizza. Hey, I was a growing kid, I remembered saying. Its baby fat, she will lose it when she grows up, a few relatives or friends would console my mom whenever she complained of my weight.

In between stuffing cookies into my mouth, I would nod in agreement. I did think that I would turn, one day from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan.

Life was beautiful or - la vita le belle as they call it - for me. That was until I hit puberty back in secondary school; and before I know it, everything has changed for me.

I became more self-conscious of my own body image, and while many of my friends are dealing with their own insecurities of body weight; none has as huge of a problem (pun intended) as I did. While they are constantly complaining and saying out loud that they are fat and need to lose weight; when they barely have an inch of blubber on them; I remain quiet as I look disappointingly at myself.

The slight saving grace was then when puberty hit, my height accelerated, so that was when I was at my slimmest. But being still pudgy and all; it really didn’t matter as I hated my body and myself more than I ever did when I was at my roundest.

That period of my life has been the darkest ever. On one hand, I put on a brave, happy face when I am around people; but when I am alone, in the comfort of my own room, I turn into my own biggest critic. I have this constant, nagging feeling that I am not good enough or worthy enough and no matter how hard I tried, I am still not happy with whatever I have achieved. From weight-issues it developed into self-worthy issues. It got so bad that I had such horrible, dark thoughts of my ownself. I said and did things to myself that was harmful, not only physically, but physiology as well.

It really didn’t help that my very own mom, whom I thought was supposed to have loved me for who I am, went against me and with my alter-ego dark self. I had no one to turn to and often had to deal it on my own. I am sure that she meant well and only wanted to encourage me to lose weight, but I took it very negatively and hated myself more than ever.

Of course I have tried, but without much permanent success to lose weight. The exercises and the diets showed short term effects, but the weight crept back when I revert to my old ways.

I have since then, and even until today, been carrying the physiological scars of being overweight. Although it’s a vast improvement of where I have come from, there’s still a long journey ahead for self-love. I don’t longer hate myself or am disgusted with my body anymore, but I have yet to learn to love myself and my image.

As much as I envy the thin and healthy; I equally envy those who are not up to society’s standard of ideal bodyweight, but they are comfortable with their own skin. They ooze confidences and don’t shy away from wearing great outfits, while I tend to shy away from clothes that reveals my flabby arms or bodycons that reveals my curves-of-the-wrong-places.

You might say that I am blessed to have married a man who loves me for who I am, inside and out.

You may also say that I am blessed to be surrounded by so much love and care from friends and family alike, whom, in spite of not knowing my inner struggles, becomes my pillar of support and strength.

One might even say that I am blessed to have a great job and a cozy place I’d call home; and that I should focus on all the things that I have achieved rather than dwell in my shortcomings.

I honestly wish I could, even to this moment, when I reflect back, I really, really wish I could. I do not strive to achieve perfection, but I just want to be strive to be a better version of me now (version 2.0, if I must say so); be it relationship-wise, career-wise even physical-wise.

Whatever it is, I hope that I will reach a stage where I can honestly look at myself and love what I see. But until that day come, I will continue this little struggle to shut the little negative voice in my head.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

.: Shareholders :.

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animations and more

Friday, March 8, 2013

.: March :.

It’s been a crazy Feb month – the month indeed went as fast as it came.

It’s already in the first week of March ; close to about 20% into the year.

I felt like Christmas was last week, New Year was over the weekend, and Chinese New Year was just yesterday. I have barely put down my Christmas décor, put up my CNYs, and now, I have to take them all down again (including the Christmas tree which is holding my CNYs decors).

There’s just so much to ramble, but maybe I shall do it some other day through some other avenue.

Am looking forward to the family vacation with the cousins to Maxwell Hill in two weeks time.

Am also excited over the Bangkok trip with my ex-highschool friends.

And am even more to celebrate my Tigger’s joyous day come Nov! She has trustingly asked me to be her emcee for her wedding dinner, which I reluctantly agreed. My reservations come not from the fact that I don’t want to do it, but it’s coz I don’t believe I could do a good job. I am not sure if I will be a good emcee, but if she & her fiancée have such strong faith in me, perhaps I should too of myself. Anyways, I gave her the option to replace me should she find herself a better one, but if I have to do it, I promise to put in my best-est effort for my best-est friend! :) *finger’s cross that I don’t trip on stage or accidentally curse*

There’s plenty I want to do. And as always, there’s so little time. The time ticks the minutes, days, and years away. I just feel that the someone has to relook into the law of the universe. Somehow, the older I get, the faster that time passes by, so fast and so much so that 24 hours to me 10 years ago is different from the 24 hours now. It's some sort of conspiracy I tell you.

Anyways, that's all for this Friday rambles.

Have a great weekend y'all! :)

Thursday, March 7, 2013

.: Bangkok, Baby :.

I'm so excited, coz our long awaited plan to Bangkok finally crystalise with the besties.
It's gonna be a hen's night, minus the bride (sorry Tigger)!
Gonna go around and paint the town BRIGHT RED! :)

Friday, March 1, 2013

.: Life's Full Of Little Pleasures :.

La vie est faite de petits bonheurslife is full of little pleasures
la vie est faite de petits bonheurs

.: Defying Gravity :.

I think I'll try defying gravity
And you won't bring me down..

- Defying Gravity : Wicked -
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