Sunday, June 12, 2011

.: Sometimes, I Wonder :.

Sometimes, I wonder if it was all worthwhile.

I put in so much effort, spend so much time and resources, but all I get is just, perhaps just ONE thanks.

It is sometimes so discouraging that I just feel like not putting in the effort to even try. I am not sure if I am even appreciated or even acknowledge. Don't even go to what was said behind my back. They may not know I know, but I just know.

Sometimes, I wonder if I was just taken for granted over and over again. When there are joys and ups, I am excluded for that circle. But when there are problems or issues or just plain needs, I am on their speed dial; and in the most pleasant, affectionate salutation, they refer to me.

Sometimes, I wonder if my sole existence is to be of service of them and expect nothing in return.

Sometimes, I wonder if the dreams I had the other day is me subconsciously telling me where I stood.

Sometimes, I wonder if what he said has any underlying truth to it.

Sometimes, I wonder if I have the perseverance to continue to keep the promise I made to Gramps.

Sometimes, I wonder what would it be like if I just let that promise go.

Sometimes, I wonder if I sometimes just wonder too much.

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