Wednesday, August 25, 2010

.: 10 Ways To Lose A Girl On The First Date :.

Top ten things you WOULDN'T want to do on the first date

This is based on my personal experience going on a "date" with my brother, Ben. All this happens in just ONE DATE, so you need not imagine why my brother is still single until now!

I went on movie 'date' with my brother just recently to catch the much talked about Inception. We decided to walk to Tropicana Mall [Buzzer sound! Note, we walked, not drive. Imagine my brother bringin his date who is all dressed up in heels, running across the highway, under the hot blisterin sun! Tsk, PHAIL #1]. We walked up to the lady at the cinema booth and I told her we needed two tickets, and while she was printing the tickets, I looked at my brother and my brother looked at me, lovingly.

"Eh, I thought you are paying" he exclaimed innocently. [Buzzer sound! He made me pay! HE MADE A GIRL PAY! HOW CAN? Tsk, PHAIL #2]. So I took out my money and paid for the two tickets. Not a word of 'thank you' from his mouth [Buzzer sound! Do not even have the basic manners of minding his P's & Q's. Tsk, PHAIL #3]

Since there was plenty of time, we decided to try out the bubble tea shop at the lower ground, Ingentis Bubble Tea. He then made his order, and when he realised that I am not getting any for myself, he said this "Eh, I am NOT sharing this cup okay!" [Buzzer sound! Even if a girl does not want it, at least have the courtesy to make an offer. Not only that, but displaying of selfishness and uncaringness? Such a big turn off. Tsk, PHAIL #4]. As he took his cup and poked the straw into the cup, the content of the cup spilled out and it ended up on my dress [Buzzer sound! Displaying his lack-of-intelligence. It doesn't take a Neantherdal to learn to use a straw right? Tsk, PHAIL #5]. Not only did he not apologise or helped me to clean up, but this fella burst out laughing [Buzzer sound! Laughing at other people's misery is a no-no, laughing at your date's misery is a bigger no-no, but laughing at your date's misery that was cause by you? Tsk, PHAIL #6].

We walked away from the place, slightly embarrassed as all eyes were turned to us. As we headed to the further end of the crime-scene, he burst out laughing again [Buzzer sound! How can he still be laughing? Tsk, PHAIL #7]. After he was done with snorting and laughing, he drank his bubble tea and commented that it didn't taste that nice.

"How come they don't make bubble tea like the used to? How come they don't make it like Alexis Mui* does?" he said with a grinning smile [Buzzer sound! Praising the girl that he had a 'past' with, how stupid is that? Tsk, PHAIL #8].

Anyways, he proceed to buy a block of soap from Gurdian, and after paying for it, turned to me and asked "Can I put this in your handbag?" [Buzzer sound! Treating a girl's handbag like a kangaroo pouch? Or Doremon's pouch? Hello? And no please at that! Tsk, PHAIL #9].

Ended up watching the movie, which we both really enjoyed (IMHO it was one of the best movie I had watched in years).

However, end of the day, I still can't get over the fact that my brother is such and insensitive soul when it comes to dealing with girls. And he reads , Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus at that. [Buzzer sound! Even after reading this book, he can still make all the above highlighted mistakes? Totally write-off man. Tsk, PHAIL #10]

Absolutely & hopelessly a phailure isn't he?

* wonder who is Alexis Mui and her history with my brother? Ask him...they go a long way back. Long, long way back *wink*


ken said...

but it would be nice if girls offer to pay.. haha..

nice tips btw =)

Yin Tan said...

classsic Ben. HAHAHAHA.
sakit perut sial....
y am i related to him!!... lol.

Kathlynn said...

ken - we do offer to pay, but the guy should not ASSUME we are always paying.

yin - tell me bout it! so malufyin ok. i will never bring him out on a date ever!

goingkookies said...

wahahha.. ur bro sooooo PHAIL la.. =p

did u point out to him? i guess even if u did, he'll just brush u off.. COS you're his sister ...

Anonymous said...

Your brother probably wouldn't treat his gf this way, not in the beginning at least. Maybe when they're married.. =P Interesting post btw!! I'm just a passerby..

Blog Widget by LinkWithin