Friday, April 13, 2007

.: The Unconvincing Truth :.

I’m listening to My Chemical Romance: I Don’t Love You again and again and again. You see, I have this bad compulsive habit of listening to a song I like over and over again. And the song will stick to my head everywhere I go. And the only way to break this spell is to replace it with another song. And the whole cycle repeats itself.

Feeling kinda gloomy today. One part due to this song, one part coz I’m pms-ing and one part coz I woke up at the wrong side of the bed. Deadly combination I guess.

But it’s ok. Coz I know in the end, things will work out for the better. And if it doesn’t, it just means it’s not the end.

I wonder to myself sometimes. Is there actually a person who can honestly say that he or she is true to himself or herself? That he or she is absolutely honest of the things he or she do? Or is everyone else like me? Merely actor or actress for a play entitled : Life?

“All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."

- As You Like It (William Shakespeare)

Sometimes we just go along and play our part. When we are sad, we put on a mask to hide our true feelings from the world. We put out a brave front even though we are trembling with fear inside. We hold back tears when all we want to do is break down and cry. We act cool and pretend not to care, but deep down inside we do.

My kor once told me this:
“Those who are selfless are those who live a life of truth. And those who live truthfully are first and foremost, true to themselves.”

How is it we could live a truthful life? How is it can we be true to ourselves? Some things are so much easier said than done. Even though I feel tired putting on a mask every morning when I have to, it’s the easiest thing to do most of the time, isn’t it?

Maybe it is because the truth hurts. Maybe what we're eventually trying to do is protect the people around us from being hurt. And also ourselves maybe?

Or perhaps it is because it is so much easier to live a lie?

I really do wonder.....


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Anonymous said...

how many time i do not do what i want to do but do what i dont want to do

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