Monday, December 31, 2007

.: Do You Fight Fair? :.

Do I fight fair?

I was reading this article in Readers Digest (October 2003) just the other night.

Side note : I’ve always wanted to subscribe to Readers Digest, but due to my stinginess (I rather use the word frugalness – well, I’ve read an article about distinguishing between stingy and frugal, but we will leave that discussion to another day now, shouldn’t we *wink*) I’ve never gotten around it. And just the other day, where JC got his house repainted, his dad was about to dispose the older copies of Readers Digest, and he knew I love to read it so much (coz everytime when I go over and on the table lays the latest copy for the month, I will read it from cover to cover – till JC sometimes say I’m actually ignoring him *hehe*) so he asked if I would like to have them. I was super ecstatic ok! :)

So I have at home now with me about 30 copies of Readers Digest for my reading pleasure, usually in bed before I sleep. Wish I could take more, but knowing that my room itself is in dire need to cleaning as it has been too cluttered over the years of non de-cluttering (is there even such a word?), I stick to the 30 copies instead.

Anyways, back to the topic, do I fight fair?

When it comes to argument, be it with family members, and now the more frequent ones, with JC, or a friendly, playful debate with my friends, the parties involved have provided feedbacks on the way I argue. And the common feedback that I have from all parties is – that I argue like a lawyer.

What they meant to say is I like to argue based on facts, but somehow would manipulatively twist the facts (wow, I didn’t know I’m manipulative) until the “defendant” reach a dead-end. And no matter what answer he or she gives, I will have a comeback argument for him or her. So much so that they would just dismiss the argument with “It’s such a waste you’re in the wrong profession now, as you would make a good lawyer…”, often this statement is accompanied with a bitter, sarcastic tone.

I guess to a certain extend; it has to be true (due to corroborative statements from totally unrelated parties).

The article also wrote about other signs that we need to look out for that we are fighting dirty :

1) Swallowing your gripes, then dumping them all at once.

2) Playing prosecutor

3) Getting to intense

4) Trying to win at all cost

5) Not letting the other part know that you love him/her

6) Get defensive

7) Be nasty

I really guess I would need to correct the way I fight with others, if not, it would really cause a strain in my relationships with others. Ok, will work towards learning to fight fair and square! :)

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