Thursday, April 8, 2010

.: Legally Un-Blonde :.

Herein, therein, hereto, forthwith…

As I draft my own tenancy agreement (bcoz I am too cheap to hire my own lawyer, so I might as well make a lawyer-buruk of myself), I realize that lawyers actually do have a strange lingo of their own don’t they?

Take this for example :

Our Father, whose predominant residence pattern is widely perceived as being in an exo-atmospheric environment, your name shall be treated, as a matterof course, in a reverential demeanor appropriate to existing protocol guidelines. It is to be hoped that, as an optimal result of the ongoing situational development, your form of governmental institution may be, in accordance with the appropriate procedures, finalized within the foreseeable future, in forms applicable to both bilateral and multilateral fora. It is therefore to be hoped that you will undertake the creation of the necessary administrative modalities to ensure the provision to recipient entities of requisite alimentary sustenance. Help our antagonists to recognize that any temporary, unvalidated, and erroneous presumptions of instances of our apparent non-compliance with duly undertaken obligations arise from their refusal to objectively assess the broad parameters of our clearly-demonstrated-over-time, historic pattern of full commitment and, most importantly, have no bearing on our relationship while noting that their consistent unquestionable pattern of non-compliant behavior introduces substantial concern over the sustained viability of their willingness to observe so essential a set of international obligations. We call upon you to reduce the availability of opportunities for any perceived deviation on our part from proscribed norms, both substantive and procedural, and reduce the willingness of our opponents to examine closely the facts of our position. For it is the Father, who has complete jurisdiction, and all encompassing authority indefinitely. Provide us with appropriate modalities for coming, with all deliberate expeditiousness, to closure, unless otherwise agreed between the parties.

Which literally translate to :

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those
who sin against us.
Lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power,
and the glory are yours
now and for ever.

Ok, I need to get back to my drafting my legal documents now....

No comments:

Blog Widget by LinkWithin