.: Rainy Sunday Evening :.

So my weekends have been spent trying to kickstart these two project i.e. Project Masterpiece & Project Spring; that requires almost immediate attention due to the fact that we have procrastinated for wayyyyyyyy toooooooooo long since we moved in to our "castle" (refer to Project Castle). It is indeed long overdue-Ed that we should make our home more homely. Now, I'm just lazing around on a raining Sunday evening surfing for inspiration on Pinterest (awesome stuff I must say). Well, as usual, so many things to do, oh so lil time....

.: Yellow Leaves :.

At first, I was happy that a flower from my periwinkle plant bloomed. But today, I realised that the leaves are turning yellow. *boo hoo*

It can't die on me.... Nooooooooooooo......

.: Mary, Mary Quite Contrary :.

So I have been planning to do something about my garden for the past one year. If you have been to my house, you would know that the only thing green (or close to green) is a small patch of Philippine grass on my small lawn. And that's it.

So I have done much research, like I usually do when I venture into new things. I have NEVER done gardening before, and the first step of attempt was to grow some thyme which I bought from the morning market nearby my place - which, sadly to say, didn't turn up to well. Slightly traumatised by the experience, I shy away from plants, until one day I told myself that this house really needs some greenery & flowers, which shall henceforth be named PROJECT SPRING.

And so I started pinning up some ideas on my Pinterest (check it out here if you like!) and reading certain Malaysia gardener's blog like Autumn Belle's MyNiceGarden & James Misser's Garden Chronicles just to name a few provide loads of information on gardening tips and they type of plants & flowers & what's not.

I was lucky to have a neighbour at my mom's place who was generous enough to donate same plants to help kickstart this gardening project - I now have planted some Periwinkles [Catharanthus roseus] (which apparently is quite a hardy plant - so if I killed it, confirm no green thumb!)

I plan to drop by Sungai Buloh this weekend to get some Blue Daze [Evolvulus] and some Wishbone [Torenia] for my window box.

Now, keeping my fingers cross that my garden will turn out well.

.: The Hunter :.

I'm a bit fed up of hunting ants at 1am in the morning. Once I clear one target they will attack another target. Also I wish to reaffirm my rights to all foodstuffs in my house.

My husband emailed me this today to express his frustration over the issue of ants infesting our home - particularly the kitchen! GO HUNTER! :)

.: Dearest You :.

.: Never Too Late :.

It's never to late to be what you might have been!

.: One Joy :.

ONE JOY scatters a hundred griefs. 

~ Chinese proverb ~

.: Retail Therapy :.

I have been feeling a bit down of late, so to cheer myself a lil, I did what most women would do when they are feeling the blues *cue for choirs of angels * RETAIL THERAPY.

Well, there is just ONE slight difference actually.

I went to BookXcess.

I picked up the shopping basket, and my mood was already slightly improved when I saw the 20% discount sign at the front of the bookshop in light of Valentine's Day! *joys* I checked out a couple of books, picked those few which I liked an dumped it into my basket. I then browse through the magazine sections which was selling really cheap magazine reprint, but nothing tickled my fancy so I quickly proceed to the other sections. I was trying really hard to refrain myself from picking up yet again another cooking book as I already have plenty of those at home. I then went to the bargain corner i.e. books under RM10 and got myself a couple more books.

I finished with my selection and headed to the payment counter. It was after passing my shopping basket to the petite cashier at the counter and digging my handbag that I realised that I have left my wallet in the office *horrors* I sheepishly apologised to the lady (thank God she hasn't scan it yet) and asked her if she could hold the books for me as I left my wallet in the car. I ran out of that place embarrassed to the bones. Thank God too, that my embarrassment was mitigated by the fact that there wasn't a que behind me.

I called my alternative ATM, aka The Husband and he said that he is on the way home and nearby. I went window shopping at the antique shop at the lower ground floor of Amcorp Mall to kill time. The Husband called and I ran across the road of the mall to get my cash! I went back up to BookXcess and paid for those books and then had dinner with The Husband in A&W just opposite the mall.

So, with my books purchased i.e. They Found Him Dead (Georgette Heyer), Playing for Pizza (John Grisham), Somebody Else's Kid (Torey Hayden), Every Dead Thing (John Connolly) and Bitter Sweets (Roopa Farooki) plus the book that I won from Esther, Animal People (Charlotte Wood) pending for my to read, I am one HAPPY CAMPER! *joys* Oh, and the fact that I get a tax deduction from today's spending of RM63.45 makes me even more happy that it is retail therapy worhtwhile spending! *double joys!*

Books! Glorious books! 

.: Order Up!! To Go :.

This is one of the activities I have been up to when I back from a day's work and need to just chill and relax - Order Up!! To Go on my IPad2!

Downloaded for free (*yippie*), Order Up!! To Go is basically a game blending in both time management in the kitchen arena as well as management skill to run a restaurant empire.

For beginners, you start from the very bottom of the food chain *pun intended* as a cook in a fast food joint. Then with the money you earn from it, you cook your way up across varieties of restaurant (the more you pay the better class of restaurant you get to own*), unlocking and mastering new menus as you go on.

As a chef in your own restaurant, yu gotta make sure you flip your burger patties before they are overdone, chopping your vegetables to fine slices (don't you just hate those thick ones?), make sure you don't burn your fries and of course to customise spices for certain orders from certain customers (for extra tips!).

As you work on, you will learn to manage certain kitchen disasters that you probably need to face if you are a real-time cook! Health inspector (*gasp*), flicking filthy rat invasion from your kitchen top (*flicks*flicks*), putting out fire if you weren't careful and your food burn (*fire!!!fire!!!*) and my most stressful task - serving perfect dishes to the food critic (*arg!!!*)

This game, being as practicable as it could be in real life, teaches us that a restaurateur is not only a good cook in the kitchen. One must also learn inventory management by planning menus for the day, procuring spices needed or upgrading the restaurant with new tools and stuff.

This game is pretty addictive as compared to the other games I have downloaded and subsequently deleted from my IPad2. And JC is kinda amused at me playing this, especially when I was playing the night when I had to cook from scratch for 13 guest at my place.

"You still wanna virtually cook after spending the whole day in a real kitchen?" he asked, bemused.

Well, as you can see, it is really addictive a definitely a must have game in your IPad!

.: It's Been A While :.

It’s been a while since I’ve written something solid here.

When I first started blogging, it was a really private anonymous blog which only a handful of those really close to me knew of it’s existence. I blogged as freely as I could. Rant as much as I want to without going thru the self-imposed censorship board.

Now, I have made this blog more accessible, and a good few knows the real person behind all this rambles. So, to a certain extent, I have to have more responsible blog post. Yes, freedom of speech as so Article 19 of ICCPR allows. But I honestly believe that which such freedom, comes accountability to be more responsible in words written.

Anyways, I realised that in the past months, my posts are mostly one liner quotes, half-hearted attempts on movie reviews, or just plain unexpressive. I have been keeping a lot inside me, and tho I try to put on a brave face and a happy mask to the outside world. But somehow, inside me, it’s just a whirlwind of emotions. I can be feeling blah in the morning, get real depressed in the afternoon and then just become zombified and numb to any emotions in the evening. And the cycle repeats itself the next day, in no particular order or reason.

I sometimes feel like I am heading nowhere in life. Like I am just running about in a hamster wheel, going nowhere. The paper chase has been over for years now, and yet, I feel unaccomplished. God have been gracious in blessing me with great job and the moolahs are sufficient for a comfortable life. And my goal of hitting a certain earnings per month by the time I hit the BIG 3-0 may be coming sooner than that. But yet, I still feel lacking. Marriage life has been great, and to my surprise, the husband and wife quibbles is was less frequent and less dramatic as the realist in me anticipate prior to being married. In short, I have had almost everything going on almost close to perfection, but I still feel this emptiness in me.

Sometimes, I wonder if what others say about me true. That I am just being too hard on myself. I wonder if I expect myself to be achieving more than I am actually capable of. Yes, it’s good to have goals in life, but when goals are met, why am I not taking out the poms-poms and do a victory dance, but instead tell myself that I do not deserve it and it is all still not good enough? What am I really trying to prove? Who am I trying to please? It was easy, in the past, to say that it is my parents whom I need to prove myself. But, that was just a lame excuse to cover up the fact that I am working so damn hard to please myself. And no, I am not easily impressed.

Anyways, enough of the emo post. I need to inject something positive in my life right now. Another goal, another target. Even tho it’s just a temporary relief from the feelings I am feeling now, it’s much better than not doing anything about it and remain with my hands crossing my chest and sulking like a five year old. And hopefully this will be the last of emo post for many many months to come.

*breaths in, breaths out*