Thursday, December 2, 2010

.: Marriages :.

Reposting this post (with slight modification) which I have posted up earlier on 4th Sept 2007. Think I need to take a chill pill from all the wedding blues!

Why do people get married?

Well, this is a topic that has been brought up to my attention time and again by my two single aunts, my single and not-so-single friends and my single(or so they claimed) cousin sisters.

So....the answer to the BIG question of WHY DO PEOPLE GET MARRIED, right here *wink*

Well, to begin with, from an accountant’s point of view (yes, I had to put in the accountant's perspective of marriage), there could be a couple of reasons for that, namely:

Economies of scales

 For those who do not have basic understanding of economics, the concept of economies of scales (EoS) is relatively simple. EoS is defined as a production process which the increase in number of units produced (or in this case bought) causes a decrease in the average cost of each unit. For example, a vendor in the night market is selling an apple for RM 1, but 10 apples for RM 8. If you’re living alone, there’s no need for you to get that much apples (unless you’re on a apple diet plan or planning to bake an apple pie). So the cost of an apple for you would be RM 1 (simple maths). However, if you’re married, you would intend to get the 10 apples for RM 8, as it would be consumed by you and your husband/wife. Hence, the average cost per apple would be RM 0.80. That’s a savings of RM 0.20 per apple. Yeah, as petty as it might sound, imagine how much you could save if you applied this to other perishable goods you would need to buy in a year.

Tax incentives

I’m only going to touch on Malaysian tax, since I’ve forgotten my UK tax already (sorry Mr Martin). So, for combined assessments, you would be able to claim a spouse relief of RM 3,000 (sad to inform that it’s only applicable to ONE spouse though). However, if your spouse is disabled (including mentally disabled - which I believe that ALL men are) you get a further relief of RM 3,500. Plus, if you have kids, you would be able to get a deduction of approximately RM1,000 per kid below 18 and RM 4,000 per kid above 18. This does not apply if you have kids but are not legally married. So yeah, you get that tax savings portion.


The word synergy means to achieve mutually advantageous conjunction where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Synergy can arise where two person with different but complimentary skills work together, leveraging on both resources to achieve a common goal. Too technical? In short it's like 1+1=3.

From a point view of a layman, emphasis on the word MAN:

Regular sex

 The TOP and ONLY reason why men marry in the first place. But hey, haven’t they heard of the saying “ You don’t need to get a cow if you just want milk”. Think about it.

From a pointview of women:

Family/Friends pressure

Constant nagging from mom even if it's your greatgrandaunt’s-son’s-maternal niece's-distant-cousin boyfriend's sister is getting married.

“You see lah, people your age already getting married! You want to wait until you’re a dried up prune before you find a husband ah? That time nobody want you already lah!”

Wah, if my husband-to-be is that shallow to begin with, what makes you think that he will still want me when I become a dried-up prune when I'm 50? Common sense.

Or the aunties that is giving out angpow during Chinese New Year, saying (out loud) something like "Wah, every year I give you angpow. This year will be the last ok?" while your cousins stand at the corner giggling over such comments!

Big wedding

The big-white-wedding gown by Vera Wang...

Jimmy Choo’s shoes...

the beautiful garden wedding...

the big wedding cake...

the cute little flower girls...

the beautiful bridemaids...


....all-so-romantic, you feel like you’re on seventh heaven or cloud nine....

Wait till after the honeymoon is over,that's when the hard and cold reality begins to sink in. You'd go from cloud nine to ground zero before you even realised what happened.

To make your relationship secure

Well, I’m sorry to say this, but if security comes in a piece of signed paper, it says so much about your marriage doesn’t it? And HELLO!, reality check here, divorce rates are more than 50% in the USA, which means half of those who get married ends up being divorce anyways. So much to say for security, doesn't it?


So why do people actually want to get married? Sex? Security? Whatever you call it?

Marriage, I believe, it's a lifetime commitment, not a three-years commitment (if you watched an episod of The Simpsons where Bart has a serious girlfriend, you know what I mean *wink*). It's something that you have to think thoroughly. It's something where you can say to yourself "I can see myself with that person for the rest of my life". Not "He will look good in tuxedo/She's look dead drop gorgeous in a wedding gown" or "If my kids can have her/his looks" or "His pocket is deep enough to sustain my lifestyle". So in the near future where someone proposes, or if you want to propose to someone, ask yourself, what is/are your motive(s) for marrying this person?

Marry only for love, that will make you the happiest person, not only on your wedding day, but for the rest of your lives together.

Marry someone who would stick with you, through thicks and thins. Someone who have seen you in your worst and still says to you "I love you". The very person who have heard you scream and shout over things that you probably don't remember now, and still goes up to you to give you a hug and tell you that everything will be alright. The person who prays with you and prays with for over your fears and worries.

That's the sort of person that you want to marry.

A note to accountants out there... Yeah, so marriage gives you the EoS, tax incentives and possibly snergy as well, but look at it this way, you will be paying with your LIFE after that. For a couple of ringgit savings, I should think it's not worth it, unless your life is worth less than that. But then again, if your an accountant, you don't even have a life to begin with right? Ah, what the hey...

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