A week and a half ago marks my third month here. I must admit, it was relatively smooth sailing for the first two and the half month, and I thought that I was adapting really well, until it just hit me.
I was not well, physically - with some gastro problems which was more than just gastritis, and because of that couldn't eat much and that aggravated my gastritis even more. I was emotionally down as well, feeling that I have lost grip of my life, and I was homesick as well, and one thing led to another - I had an emotional breakdown. Just like that. At that very particular moment, I felt so down and low, that I just bawled my eyes out.
I was very thankful that the husband was very understanding and just gave me space to figure out things myself. I was also thankful for the supportive familia back in Malaysia that was sending prayers and virtual hugs across. And also for my friends who was giving words of encouragement throughout the whole ordeal. But most of all, I was thankful for God's grace throughout - and though there were times where I felt completely alone, knowing that He was by my side helped me through all this.
I'm glad to say that I am feeling more better the past week. And in fact, just yesterday, I had this higher feeling of happiness and contentment - that lasted for a whole day. And that is a really good feeling that I have yet to feel for quite some time. And it really felt so good, I was glowing from inside out!
My life ain't perfect now. It will never be. Not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. But I thank God for His gracious reminder that I indeed could feel this sense of happiness and peace once again.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14 : 27)